12/15/2005

Blah blah blah

Tuesday night was my World Civ I final exam, dealing with the first people in Central and South America, the fall of the Roman Empire, the Crusades, and, last but not least, Islam, which was the topic for the essay question. I must admit, had I known, prior to taking the test, that I was getting 151.5 out of 150 available points, I may not have busted my butt in studying quite as much as I did. I just checked my grade online and I officially received an A+, for the first time in my life, I'm sure.

UNO is done for the semester. First day of the next semester starts up the day after New Year's Day, I believe. Also, I have one day left at Metro, Monday, before break, with classes resuming the same week that UNO begins.

Not much else is going on, really. King Kong opened yesterday. I think I'm shooting for a noon show tomorrow, because I figure it won't be super crowded in the early afternoon.

I've been thinking about my life a lot lately, how empty it is, relatively speaking. I mean, I don't do anything. I go to class and I study and I read books and comics and watch downloaded TV shows on my laptop. I suppose I've never been much of a social person, which has generally been okay with me. The occasional party at Becky's, or wherever, is fine, but being around people on a more consistant basis, I just sort of shrug my shoulders and go, "Meh."

It's not that I don't like people, because I do. Some of them, anyway. My friends. And it's not that I don't have anything to talk about, because if there's one thing I am, it's opinionated. About a wide variety of topics. But there's something about just hanging out and getting a beer or something that doesn't appeal to me in the slightest anymore. Not very often, at any rate.

Every once in a while, though, I get this weird longing for something I haven't had in years, this ghost memory skipping across my mind, like when you skip a stone across a lake.

I tell myself, though, and I'm pretty convincing about it, that I'm not planning on being here very long. That once I'm finally done with college, once I have that piece of paper, I'm out of here. Again. Back to the West Coast. L.A. San Diego. San Francisco. Seattle. Portland. Away from the ice and snow and chill of winter. So what would be the point, were I so inclined, to start up any new relationships if I just want to leave town?

It's a decent enough excuse, I suppose, to not let anyone get close to me (were they so inclined). That way, more often than not, lies pain and heartache, too, and who wants to go through all that crap again?

It's all a game of "What if...", and no one knows what will happen in the next couple of years. I could meet the love of my life in one of my new UNO classes next semester, someone for whom I'd willingly stay in Omaha. Or I could get hit by a bus tomorrow. Who knows?

This is the part where I'd say, "The point is...", but I don't think I necessarily have one right now. Just mumbling out loud to myself. It feels like it's been a while since I babbled.

I had the strangest dream last night, and now I don't remember a thing. I kept waking up slightly because the idiot dog would bark, and I'd slowly fall back into REM, and these weird images would jump out at me...it was more a dream that felt weird. Wrong, somehow. Askew. I dunno. Whatever. Dream's just a dream. Until it comes true, anyway.

13 comments:

AliKat said...

Sweetie, its going to take you a couple of years to finish college and move right? Your excuse is not a good one. I kind of feel like what's the point in going out and meeting new people when I am just going to leave, but I am moving in 5 months, and even that seems like a long time to be in my own little world with no social interaction. Not that I don't have friends, I meant going out and making new ones. Besides, in the end I found its better to be close to the ones you love than to live in a warm climate, but maybe thats just me.

1031 said...

It is totally a good excuse. I dunno what you're talkin' about. ;)

As far as being close to the ones I love, well, like I said, it's not like I'm an overly social person anyway. Cell phones and the internet. What more does one need?

AliKat said...

Like I said that is just me, and no that is a very bad excuse, try "I need to concentrate on my classes" that is a better excuse at least.

Grumpy Old Man said...

Maybe you just need to get laid!

1031 said...

My father, ladies and gentlemen. More evidence in favor of medicating our old people.

Ithiel said...

c'mon, sounds like sage advice to me!

AliKat said...

Yeah, I think I am with your dad on this one

Anonymous said...

I'll be back in town for a bit soon enough and we'll hit the bars. Not the shitty bars. I'm talking about the bars where smart guys fuck hot chicks.

Do you want to live your life as a string of 'what if's? You said it yourself that there are bits of your past getting to you. Classes in college are just the tiniest tip of the iceburg-- the rest of the experience is down beneath... in girls' panties.

No excuses on this one. I'm on a mission when I get back to the states and I am dragging you along with me, my Sancho Panza.

1031 said...

All right, but if you start attacking invisible windmills, I'm totally cutting you off.

Jaded said...

Here's the thing. What if you meet someone and they would want to move too? I think a lot of people want to move to the west coast, and even if they didn't they might be interested in moving just to be with you. If you want a relationship look for it. If you don't then be happy and who cares if you don't have someone. I think in general people are too caught up in defining themselves by their relationships.

AliKat said...

Very good advice! Now if only I could remember that when I am thinking the way 1031 is...

1031 said...

That is exactly what my father said about 45 minutes ago. That's eerie.

Grumpy Old Man said...

I like your father. He is a very smart man.