I had the most bizarre dream last night. I don't remember exactly what was ailing me, something with my kidneys, perhaps, but not an actual, real disease or anything, and I was dying. Imminently. I vaguely remember contacting people to let them know. My mother was resigned to the fact, and I ... I remember feeling this feeling of complete and utter despair and hopelessness. It was very strange. Very surreal. I woke up in the middle of the night, my heart pounding and my head swirling, and for a few seconds, maybe a minute, my dream was real, and I was going to be dead from some unknown, unreal illness very shortly. That's a very frightening feeling to have, that you know you're about to die and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. I eventually fell back asleep and proceeded to have other, less dire dreams, none of which I can remember.
But I remember the one in which I was dying. I woke up this morning to my alarm at seven, as usual, and I just laid there for a few minutes, remembering the feeling I had when I woke up in the middle of the night, as I lay there alone in the dark.
I will never feel that helpless and hopeless again for as long as I live. Which, as I look back on that sentence I just typed, is slightly ironic.
My intern started at the company yesterday. We spent most of the afternoon in the back, with all our myriad boxes of comic books, rearranging, organizing, simply discovering what, exactly, is back there, hidden amongst the brown cardboard cubes and rectangles. Our own game of Tetris, but with only two shapes and no bright, happy colors.
I gave the kid, Daniel, the quick tour of the office I work in, all the boxes behind me from which I pull comics for Web orders. He certainly knows how to stuff an envelope, that's for sure. And he can lift heavy boxes of comics, which will definitely come in handy, especially as we get closer to the San Diego convention next month.
I have two papers to write for this internship "class" I'm enrolled in, due Friday. Only a page or two each, one about how I feel the internship is going and the other is a profile of someone I work with, probably Cody, seeing as how I spend most of my time talking with him.
And now the boss has asked me to write up a press release for one of our books, so I should probably start talking with Cody about that, to see what, exactly, it's for.