Had dinner at my sister's Friday night with the family, minus my grandmother, who wasn't feeling up to it. The Sabbath and all that, y'know? And hey, who am I to pass up free food? Plus I hadn't actually seen my sister and her family for more than a week, so there was that, too.

When we pulled up to the house, there was a Lexus SUV parked in the street out front. My sister apparently had company. A friend of hers, or, well, more like a fellow mother who has a daughter the same age as my nephew. By that I mean, I don't know if my sister would be friends with this girl, would even know her, if their children weren't in the same class.

I guess this girl went to Millard North, though my sister said she's a few years younger than I am, and in a school of 3,000 students, well, it's easy not to know everyone. I scanned my senior yearbook anyway, to see if I could find her in it. Her first name is somewhat unique (ha ... didn't mean to make that pun there), but I didn't see her listed with the underclassmen. She graduated from Millard West, anyway. We talked a bit during dinner. Turns out we knew a few people in common, no one I'd call a good friend, just people I knew around school.

It's still difficult sometimes to believe that some of my friends are married and have kids, though most just have one. This girl, she's got three. Just had the latest bundle of joy two months ago. Her husband walked out on them five months before that.

I've been thinking about her off and on since I got home from my sister's. That's got to be so hard, to have three kids, ages two months to six years, and a husband who just up and leaves. She's fortunate that her family is pretty well off. From what my father's told me, it sounds like she doesn't really have to worry about money at all, which is good for her, great for the kids. Hard enough raising a family these days with two parents, let alone one who doesn't have a job. One less thing to worry about, then, the money thing. But other than that, completely separate from it ... think about it. Twenty-six years old, three young children, one of them practically a newborn. How lonely must that feel?

I'm sure she's got a good support system around her, her parents, my sister, I guess. Maybe there are some other moms out there. The furthest thing from her thoughts is probably her own well-being, you think? I mean, she's got these kids to worry about, to be there for and take care of. Do you think about yourself in that situation? Do you allow yourself that one selfish thought? No husband. Three kids. Not that she needs some guy in her life, but does the thought cross her mind? Who's gonna want to be with a girl with three kids?

She's a nice girl, very pretty. I dunno if she ever went to college, if she ever wanted to be anything more than a wife and mother. Now just a mother. Do single girls with kids still scare guys off? Probably depends on the guy, right? And the girl, for that matter. Who would that be more difficult for? The guy who crashes the family, so to speak, I would imagine. That can't be easy, inserting yourself in the middle of a situation like that. How do you go from single to family man just like that (snap fingers here)?

Whatever. It's late. I seem to be nothing more than a babbling brook tonight. This morning. Whenever. Just thinkin', is all. And we all know how dangerous that can be. Thinkin' does nothing but cause trouble ...

1 comment:

raptorpack said...

It does make a difference. When getting up in age, some single ladies are single moms too. It doesn't scare me off but it does make me halt. I generally think that, "I don't have the capabilities to provide for a family." I'm not turned off, its just why put someone through that?